Thursday, December 30, 2010

MiniBee

2010 has been an AMAZING year. On July 17, I married my best friend. So far it’s been a beautiful, crazy adventure…and in true Queen Bee fashion, the adventure didn’t end with just getting married…it’s just beginning as we prepare to start our family.
On December 5, after a weekend of endless mention of babies, two baby showers, and agonizing for two days about the possibility, I finally got the nerve to take a pregnancy test. The test says to wait three minutes before reading. Let me tell you, three minutes is a LONG time. When my timer went off, I nervously looked at the test and immediately I understood how people can misread the test. One line is not pregnant, two lines is pregnant… Is that a second line? I can’t tell! It’s really light! Is two lines REALLY two lines no matter how faint? Gotta put my contacts in! Still can’t tell. Jason’s asleep, should I wake him? No, I’ll just run to the store and buy another.
So… I went to the store and bought another test, different brand. Three minutes (seriously, can’t they speed these things up?)…. this one has a plus. Doesn’t it? I’m pretty sure it does. My eyes are pretty bad though. Better ask Jason.
After waking Jason and spending five minutes trying to make him understand what I was asking…he confirms: I definitely have TWO positive pregnancy tests. And I promptly burst into tears. Poor Jason is groggy and has no idea what to do with me. He’s ecstatic. I’m scared out of my mind, nervous, and apologizing profusely to Jason.
When I finally calm down (don’t get me wrong, I was very happy, but overwhelmed) I say, do you want to wait until Christmas to tell anybody?
Jason says, “If I have to wait three weeks to tell our parents, I will be eating the paint right off these walls. We need to tell them.”
So we told them. That night. (For the record, we decided not to tell anyone else until my doctor appointment…yeah, that didn’t work so well, they were pretty excited) They officially started spreading the news after the digital test (which clearly read ‘pregnant!’)…well, digital tests.
I was still really nervous until I went to the doctor. I tend to overanalyze and worry, so I was terrified that the tests were wrong or that I would do something to cause something TO go wrong.
When I finally went to the doctor, I heard the words that every expectant woman longs to hear:
“Yep, you’re definitely knocked up!”
I love my doctor.
So, we scheduled my first ultrasound (January 26) and found out how much this kid is going to cost (a lot) and went on our way (to Fred’s, delicious).
To answer a few questions:
Did you plan on getting pregnant this soon?
Well, no. I was on the pill. Not only was I on the pill, but I took it religiously…same time, every night…didn’t miss. Then, at the beginning of November, I simply forgot to refill my prescription. By the time I realized, I had to wait another three weeks to start a new pack…the day I should have started a new pack was December 5. (see above for date significance)
It doesn’t matter though, because I fully believe it was God’s plan for this pregnancy to happen, so I not only embrace the challenge, I rejoice in it.
Are you excited?
YES! But I’m also extremely nervous and scared out of my mind. I’ve heard countless stories of miscarriages and mishaps, furthermore I have always assumed it would be difficult for me to get pregnant. My mom wasn’t supposed to have children, and in the past two years I have been told that I may have issues as well. I have been consumed with the fear of losing this baby or not being a good mom until MY mom (who is such an amazing woman of God) gave me this scripture:
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phillipians 4:8
Since then, this scripture has been my daily mantra. I refuse to be scared or nervous or upset. My pregnancy and my baby are in God’s hands…and He knows what He’s doing:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book  before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:13-16
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart
 Jeremiah 1:5 
So, 2010 has been great. But in about 8 monts,  Jason and I will welcome our son or daughter (MiniBee).
2011 promises to be even better. <><