Thursday, May 10, 2012

Feeding Jax

Jax refuses to eat solids (for the most part). I mean, it's partly mostly my fault, I haven't really pushed him to eat solids. Our doctor recommend exclusively breastfeeding until 9 months, and since I haven't been ready to give up that bonding ritual, I haven't felt it necessary to push him to eat solids-in fact, I rejoiced at the fact that I could continue providing the only nourishment he gets-it's exhilarating and there is nothing that can compare to those sweet nursing moments.

It's not just the bonding either. Formula is expensive! I don't know how people do it! At $20-30 a can, I could have easily spent upwards of $400 a month on formula alone. So in 9 months, we've essentially saved $3600. I'm grateful for the availability of formula, because I know that there are moms who just can't breastfeed. However, breastfeeding is a choice I'm very glad I made.

But there are downfalls. Jax doesn't take a bottle well.  At first, I was glad. That meant he had to be with me everywhere I went or I had to be back within 3 hours, and let's face it, I didn't want to leave him anyway. I mean, if I had to, I could pump and leave him with a bottle, but pumping is a lot of work, and I'm lazy. So Jason and I don't get a lot of alone time.

There's a part of me-a teensy, weensy selfish part-that wishes Jax would wean already. I'm tired. It's exhausting.

Jax loves his ninny. (So much that it was his second word, after da-da and before ma-ma.)

The other, much larger, part of me is very protective of our nursing relationship. I don't want to cut him off prematurely-as long as there is a benefit, I want him to get it. I find myself grieving at the thought of not having those quiet moments that make all the problems of the world disappear as I can bask in the relationship with my son, the relationship that noone else will ever have with him. For a full 18 months (in utero and out) I've been Sweet Jax's lifeline, his sole source of nourishment, which is not only satisfying, it's beautiful.

How incredible is it, God's design for our bodies? That for 9 (10?) months this tiny being is formed from nearly nothing, grows from microscopic to an incredible newborn with all the same organs and body parts as an adult? That the woman's body was perfectly designed to carry and nourish this little being until it is capable of life in the real world? That once the child is born, the mother is able to continue to nourish the child for months and in some cases years?  A truly well thought out design. Thank you, Father, for your amazing plan for our lives!

Instead, we were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.
1 Thessalonians 2:7
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
Jeremiah 1:5
As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.” 
Luke 11:27
because of your father’s God, who helps you,
    because of the Almighty, who blesses you
with blessings of the skies above,
    blessings of the deep springs below,
    blessings of the breast and womb. 
Genesis 49:25

In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.  
Hebrews 5:12-14

“Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her,
all you who love her;
rejoice greatly with her,
all you who mourn over her.
For you will nurse and be satisfied
at her comforting breasts;
you will drink deeply
and delight in her overflowing abundance.”
For this is what the Lord says:
"I will extend peace to her like a river,
and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;
you will nurse and be carried on her arm
and dandled on her knees.
As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”
Isaiah 66:10-13

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